Sunday 2 September 2012

The Ninety-Nine Percent


99% of rabbits are not Elite.
Fact.
And, truth be told, they never could have been. Their common-garden DNA-seed was sown randomly and without any forethought or eugenic-type planning.
99% of rabbits have their destiny broadly defined before they were even born. They have no control over the dominant and recessive genes inherited from their parents. Their fate is sealed, no matter how hard or how vocally they may protest.
My own rabbits – Simon, Vellhi and Orwell – have occupied my land now for over a year-half. In that time, I have observed them closely and have written before about their individual personalities.
Despite their individual personality differences, the one common genetic trait all three share is they enjoy watching television while nibbling on chocolate-carrot cake.
And because of this particular shared genetic trait, they do not seem to be able to muster the necessary self-motivation to make those changes to their lives to ensure that their offspring have a chance of joining the 1% of Elite rabbits. 
The first philosophical question I pose for you today, dear reader, is this:
Should a rabbit deny him or herself the self-gratification of television and chocolate-carrot cake so that their future offspring have a chance of living the 1% Elite life of a Br’er Rabbit, or a Peter Rabbit, or a Roger Rabbit or a Bugs Bunny?
And the second question is this:
Should I love Simon, Vellhi and Orwell any less because they are not one of the 1% Elite?
Ponder well, dear reader, for the future of rabbit-kind may be in your hands.
For the Ozimal enthusiasts, I list below the key stats of my rabbits, just in case you wish to recruit any of them for breeding:
Birthday: 16th December 2010
Primary Personality Trait: “Buck trapped in the body of a doe”
Gender: Female, in a male kinda way
Fur type: Standard
Ears: Standard
Shade: Standard
Outstanding Features: None
Special Abilities: None
Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Birthday: 19th December 2010
Primary Personality Trait: Suffers from ‘Chronic Obsessive Happiness Disorder’
Gender: Male
Fur type: Standard
Ears: Standard
Shade: Standard
Outstanding Features: None
Special Abilities: None
Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Birthday: 20th December 2010
Primary Personality Trait: Nasty piece of work. No one has a good word to say about him.
Gender: Male
Fur type: Standard
Ears: Standard
Shade: Standard
Outstanding Features: None
Special Abilities: None
Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake



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